Life changes!

My sweet Jackie and I both had a really upbeat day yesterday. It was completely unplanned and unintentional and I love it. I feel so connected to her in ths moment. I want to make a post about all of the thoughts flooding my mind right now, too!

OKAY, so. I just realized that my last post was only a month ago. It feels like at least six have passed since then... So much has changed. I last updated about Sarah with buying her a computer. Well, now she's moving here! Like, for good! To stay! In a little more than two months. I still can't believe it, even as I type this. Our lives are changing right before our eyes. Because of these changes, I want to make changes in my own life, too. Sometimes I'm erratic and messy and I want to move away from this and stabilize so that I can further help myself AND Sarah!

✿ ROUTINES!!! ✿
✿ Thursdays are now gonna be my room check-up days. Making sure my room is clean, like, floors, desk, everything. MAKING SURE MY CLOSET IS ORGANIZED. My dad always does my laundry for me and I never take the time to organize it how I like to! So I want to make sure I take my sleeping shirts out of my closet and put them in my drawer, keep long-sleeved shirts and sweaters on the right side of my closet... Things like that. This will make my life SO much either.
✿ Sundays are now money-managing days! Gathering any singles I accumulate during the week, making sure I'm on top of everything I need to save up for and all... I started a responsibility notebook and I refuse to stray away from keeping it updated with finances and all! 
✿ I want to keep up riding my bike and playing with June on all my days off! It's been raining, so I've had to put this off for the sake of saving myself from weird germophobic fits. I know June is really gloomy right now because she has nowhere to run with the lawn being a lake and all. By the end of next month, she'll be ready for walks and it'll be so much easier for us both to get exercise! My thighs are getting really thick because I've been riding my bike and stuff. I'm so ready. 

✿ Sela and I just agreed to start a tradition next year of going up to the mountains to play in the snow every New Year's Day!!! I love this. My dad, Joey and I used to do this every year but my dad stopped taking us a few years ago.
✿ I also need to stop spending money on superfluous things like junk food and all. I have too much to save up for right now! I keep saying I'll start getting serious about saving, and this time I want to mean it. I wanna keep track of everything I need to save up for and save/spend accordingly.
✿ I've been getting really good at stabilizing myself when it comes to stressful things! Finding outlets, helping the stress simmer directly, things like that. I want to get better and better at this! 
✿ On school nights, I need to be in bed before midnight. There's no excuse for this. Sleeping at midnight gives me seven and a half hours to sleep, which STILL isn't enough! And it forces me into the habit of napping when I get home, which I don't care for at all. 

❀ GENERAL THINGS!!! ❀
❀ I need, need, need, need, NEED an emergency inhaler, pronto. I had my first ever asthma attack the other night and it was downright petrifying. I've gotta work with my dad to make an appointment with my doctor.
❀ Something I need to commit a day to before Sarah moves is organizing the toy closet in the TV room. I started moving stuff from my closet in my bedroom into it, and I want to keep doing that so that I can have at least one shelf's space in my closet for Sarah's belongings when she moves here! 
❀ I let a little bit of school slip through the cracks last week and I want to make sure this doesn't happen again! Especially when I only have two classes. Totally unnecessary.
❀ And on that note, I want to get better with time management. I've started talking to more people on the regular and I've been putting so much pressure on trying to make everyone around me happy, even though no one or no thing around me is contributing to that. 
 

❀ STUFF FOR MY ROOM!!! ❀
❀ A SHELF ABOVE MY CLOSET. My dad and I are struggling to find a piece of wood long enough! 
❀ I wanna paint each of my walls a different color if my dad's okay with it! If not, a soft, blue-seafoamy-tealy color would suffice.
❀ Better organization with my drawers!!! 
❀ I need to get the two bins of storage stuff outta there. 
❀ And put more stuff in those storage bins. I'm storing most of the Beanie Babies Jade gave me until I move out because I have.. absolutely.. NO ROOM! I need to purge. Having material possessions drives me nuts.
❀ Find some kind of replacement for my green chair. As cute as it is, is hurts me and everyone I love.
❀ I want to see what I can do about my hanging organizer for my Pokemon. It's a good, small-space, big-capacity storage piece, but.. idk. It's kinda broken and it hangs a little too low for the plastic drawers I now have? I'd love to find something similar that's a little smaller. This isn't too big of a priority, though. 

I'm all over the place right now. I'm actually in class. I always seem to come to Dreamwidth when I have a lot of my mind and can't talk to anyone directly! I might come back to this later but I think I got most of my thoughts out.

I've been fighting a near unnatural amount of anxiety lately, considering my usual existence and level of anxiety. It's making my life really hard. I'm not sure why it's getting to me like this, but I do hope it goes away soon. I'm doing whatever I can to fend it off! I don't want to be sensory defensive or irritable or miserable or anything. I want to be as sunny as can be. 

❀ NEW STUFF AS OF 2/25!!! ❀
❀ Use my camera more often!!! Like, my big one. Lug it around. Go hard. It's such a good camera and spent my entire Christmas budget on it a few years ago and I need to make use of it. 
❀ Talk to friends more. I want to get closer to Shelby, see Gaby more often, text Veli all the time, things like this. Small exchanges go a long way and my friends deserve the best company I can give. 
❀ Write more! Find more inspirations. Express myself thoroughly by any means possible. 
❀ Play more video games! Expand my portfolio of gaming. I've explored new genres like Mega Man and Shovel Knight and stuff. I wanna break the mold and love Metroid and other games I've yet to try. I want to play every video game available to me in the universe. They are my most favorite thing.
❀ Sleep better and longer. Develop a better schedule. Because I am miserable and sleepy all the time and it's starting to take a toll on my life.
❀ Manage my anxieties more clearly in the future. Today was a big step forward for me and I want to move further and further in the direction of a healthy and happy mind.
❀ Crush sensory/time-related things that trigger trauma-based badness. I don't want to feel depressed every time spring comes. 
❀ Always, always, always strive to communicate the best I can with my dear Sarah. This is important to both me and her. I don't think I've ever communicated with her badly, but I want to improve upon it for the rest of my life. I always want us to be honest, respectful, and happy.