Less introspect and more smiles

[plushling]

I need to relax and I'm itching to write a bunch of words so here I am.

This summer is turning out to look better and better every day. Tyler, Sarah and I have been planning to go to Fanime together for months now, and now that it's getting closer and closer, I'm starting to feel really excited about it. We've expanded the Fanime trip into something that's, like, a week long. We're gonna go to Oregon afterwards. Like, Sarah and I will basically be tagging along when Tyler heads back home. I'll be able to see his family for the first time in years, meet Hannah (his girlfriend), and most of all, enjoy a trip with my two favorite people in the world. I've never been farther north than San Francisco before! And I've never actually taken my own personal trip out of state. The only two times I've ever traveled out of state were to Phoenix and Vegas and it was for like.. business trips with my dad when I was around six years old. I think the best part is that this is something I'm gonna do with Sarah. In the moment it's kind of hard to keep my feelings afloat about not seeing her next month, but being able to plan and arrange a trip like this in May is gonna be a lot of fun. When I think about it, I feel less stressed out than ever. I can't explain in words how stressed out I am all the time. It's impossible to imagine my life without stress. I'm working on it, though.

This winter is going to be a lot of fun, too. Tyler's buying his train ticket soon, I think. Right after my finals are done, I'll get to be with Tyler and that's so great. I actually just checked my schedules and my last day of school for this semester is December 10th! What a happy day. Four more weeks after today, and that'll be it. It'll work and it'll be okay, and that's something I can look forward to and be happy with. Tyler and I are gonna spend an entire week playing video games and spending time together like we used to when we were kids. I'm gonna show him Deli Delicious and introduce him to the grand Wii U experience and have the best time in the world. I'm really excited for this. It'll be nice to hang out with someone who is so replenishing to me!

I mentioned this already, but I'm only taking two classes next semester. Six credits instead of twelve. I don't feel fantastically proud of myself about this, but the full-time schedule I was slated for was requiring me to be on campus for over six hours five days a week.. and just the idea of that was giving me so much stress and anxiety. I couldn't do it. And I'm having a terrible time with my current full-time, core-class semester. My time in community college is coming to an end, and it's getting harder and harder to match up the classes I have left to take into a cohesive schedule. My mental health is important and this is just sometihng I have to do! I'll be happier this way. I'll have more time to myself and I'll be able to stay on top of my classes. Luckily, the two classes I'm signed up for are Abnormal Psychology and Child Development, which can both contribute toward my major! So my mind will be occupied lots. As I go further in school I feel more and more comfortable with myself and my future. I'm so excited for Sarah to graduate and be ready to come and live here. Even if I'm in school, I think at that point my functionality as a person will be high enough for me to get a job and be great at everything I do.

Things are looking up!